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Charles Gilman wrote on Wed, Dec 19, 2007 07:12 AM UTC:
Thanks for the clarification. I was trying to give you the benefit of the doubt by considering all possibilities. Yes, this page could all be rewritten, but only by someone with a working knowledge of it, and I do not have that. What I have is long experience of being criticised for pages that overemphasise the theme, accepting that criticism, rewriting to bring the rules more to the fore, and keeping this in mind for subsequent variants. The relevence to your game of what everyone wears and what flags they wave still escapes me entirely. Even if I try to search for particular words or phrases, the page's grotesque length hampers the attempt and leaves me still waiting while I have visited and understood a dozen other pages in a parallel window. Try starting the Pieces section with a paragraph per piece along the lines of 'The [piece name] moves [which directions and how far in each]. It [has zero or more restrictions e.g. must stay out of check]. This reflects [features of the character relevant to the piece move and/or restrictions].' If you still feel the need to mention stuff not directly relevant to the moves, defer it to the Notes section. Then you may be surprised at the change of heart in your critics.

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