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The problem is that your ethics does not need to coincide with mine. You might consider me unethical for switching one second before my flag falls, but I would just consider you a poor player for allowing me to do it, and a fool for questioning my ethics afterwards. I have ample experience in speed chess from the time when I was a student. Despite the fact that no world titles or money was at stake, me and my friends always played to the limit of the rules. The rules define a game, and when you take the game seriously, you do what you can to win. We just laughed at people that considered that unethical, and the more angry they got, the more fun we had. People that find that objectionable should go solve cross-word riddles or sudoku puzzles.

When you invite people to manipulate their opponent's thinking time, because that makes the game 'interesting' you should not consider it unethical if they exploit that in their interest. You cannot have it both ways. Either driving your opponent out of time is an interesting part of the game, or it is unethical conduct allowed by the rules, meaning the latter are poorly designed for allowing it. Chess clocks were not invented just to sell more clocks, they serve an essential need.